No More Champagne for Ken

Here's a memorable glimpse of a Christmas Party I danced at in the ritzy Pacific Heights area. I arrived at the prescribed hour (and waited in the kitchen) to find the party was running late, mainly because the guests had continued to drink for an hour longer than the hosts thought they would. It was an elegant sit-down dinner for around 35, with tuxedoed waiters etc. I knew it was gonna be a long night when this orthodontist dressed as Santa Claus kept standing up and announcing "And now another song from Santa Claus," and he would take traditional carols and create ribald lyrics to fit the guests. And he wasn't the only one deep in the holiday spirits! "No more champagne for Ken," the waiters would assure each other as they crossed paths in the kitchen. The highlight of the evening was during my show, when I'm propped on the floor and rolling completely over with my candelabra balanced on my head. I can't move my head as I'm rolling over; and as I roll away from my audience out of the corner of my eye I see a guy in a Santa suit - oh no, it's Ken - on his hands and knees crawling towards me at about 90 miles an hour! "Keep him off me!" I hiss and I guess they blocked him because I never got the tackle!

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